In my happiness and beyond. - Why I Don't Like Feminists: the MLK Day Special

I was asked to explain why I so dislike feminists. I actually wasn't going to post these thoughts at all, (which I mainly wrote as an exercise), just because I know it's only going to rattle cages. But then RAW died and I thought, Eh... wotthehell.

Don't worry; I don't expect to change anyone's mind. But I like to think things over and I know some of you do too. Hell, maybe you'll change my mind.

There are lots of people I like who I think erroneously cling to the "feminist" label, and it's the support of that label that I primarily object to. Labels are far more powerful than people seem to think. This may seem like an attack on individual feminists, but it's not meant to be. For one thing, I only dislike feminists when they're being feminists. Luckily, there aren't many opportunities to actively be a feminist anymore because "feminism" in present-day Western Civilization is almost dead. About all you can do as a feminist is complain or tell all your friends they're beautiful just the way they are... and both those things are totally insipid.



Look, how's about I just go ahead and explain, shall I?

First: "Feminism" is a Meaningless Word.

Feminism has become hard to object to, because even if you simply say "I'm not a feminist," feminists will haul out their oblique dictionary definition to prove that actually, if you're a decent person, you are.

fem·i·nism (fĕm'ə-nĭz'əm)
n.

1. Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
2. The movement organized around this belief.

In America, if you're an educated person, denying any belief with the word "equality" in it is the social equivalent of goose-stepping down 5th Avenue in a Klu Klux Klan robe. As a result, there are a lot of hunted-looking people out there wandering around going, "What? Yes! I'm a feminist... I guess..." Hard to get a lot of conviction out of these people, though, when you're not terrorizing them with social anxiety. You know why? Because as good as those words sound, they're functionally useless, and deep down we know it. What the hell is social equality, anyway? What is economic equality? Ask ten different people and you'll get ten different answers. But what really bothers me is that, even if we could come to a consensus about the meaning of these various forms of "equality", we would still be forced to believe in something that does not now and will never exist.

Humans just don't operate well on systems of equality. According to the U.S. Declaration of Independence, we hold these truth to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. Again, sounds good, but those words were written by a white male slave owner. Capitalism has consistently proven itself more functional, worldwide, than communism, because it's built on the presupposition of inequality. We're apes, and there will always be an alpha among apes. We will always desire a leader, always covet our neighbor's treasures, always strive for power over ourselves and our surroundings. That's because we're not all born exactly the same. Not everyone is beautiful just the way they are (in fact, most of us could really do with a wash every couple days). Not everyone is special and unique, usually because they don't want to be. They'd rather fit in socially. You can paint your world in mental colors of "equality" if you want to but:

A) You'll be wrong.
B) Your world will be boring, and
C) You'll be an insult to every single person who has ever tried to be better than the selfish, confused, paltry creatures human beings have perennially shown ourselves to be.

It's seems like it should be fine to believe in unattainable ideals. People inevitably believe in something, and it's nice to believe in things that give us hope. But hope isn't a real thing. I'll tell you what could be real, though: intellectual freedom, and that's what you get when you stop forcing people to believe in myths like "equality."

Second: Feminism has Become Self-Defeating.

Because it's almost impossible to rally the masses around the meaningless abstractions in "Belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes," we have this t-shirt slogan instead:

Feminism is the radical notion that women are people too.

Again, how can you argue with such a basic and wholly self-defending statement? The sarcasm in "radical notion" off-sets the simple truth of "women are people too." Very effective. But it is in this phrase that I find the core of why I don't like feminists. I don't need or want a t-shirt to defend the idea that I am a person too. I don't want anyone to do that. I know I'm a person too. Anyone in Western Civilization who does not, by now, have the sense to assume that I'm person too, will probably not be persuaded by arguing, and those arguing on my behalf will come off as shrill and defensive. That embarrasses me. And if a group's fundamental philosophy is an embarrassment to the people it claims to represent, it is useless.

I might have a shred of respect for those t-shirts if they were written in Farsi. And being worn in Iran. That probably wouldn't last too long, though.

You're not going to change anyone's mind if they're so dumb or dogmatic that they don't already believe women are people too. You're just going to have to believe in yourself. And if you really believe in yourself, maybe you can help other women believe in themselves, as opposed to the imaginary power of some pointless group.

But why stop with women?

Third: Feminism Has Begun to Hinder the Development of Individuals and Society.

Once you strip away the bullshit surrounding definitions of feminism, I'll admit that you're still left with one genuinely decent slogan:

Feminism is about the right to make choices.

That's great. But, in its own way, so is the civil rights movement, which, despite a brief mingling period in the seventies, has historically distinguished itself from the feminist special interest groups. In fact, the civil rights movement fights for the rights of both men and women, of all races. But if you feel unwelcome in the civil rights movement, what about human rights? Social rights? It seems to me that you can easily support thoughtfulness and understanding without calling yourself a feminist.

Nevertheless, feminists continue to support their group label, and there are two good reasons: It's gained moral authority, and the clear backing of a social group, and those are powerful things.

Group labels give people de facto moral authority. Christians do the same thing among themselves, alternately lauding and condemning behavior as Christian or un-godly. In college, we used to label the things we hated capitalist, and, a generation back, facist. This is the same tactic used by institutionalized forms of brainwashing worldwide: You're either with us, or against us. It cuts independent thought dead in its tracks, and is a breeding ground for dogmatism. When most people say they don't like feminists, what they're talking about is dogmatic feminists. Dogma is what happens when a belief system can no longer inspire devotion on its own merits.

We have the vote and I'm grateful. I'm glad we, women, gained the power to vote in our own best interests, to educate ourselves, and to fight for what we believe, in and out of the home. I'm even somewhat grateful to second-wave feminists for normalizing women like me. I'd probably still be in a mental hospital if it weren't for them. But the major battles are over now. The issues that remain should be looked at as social issues, not women's issues, and I'm talking about rape and abortion laws, gender education in and out of the classroom, and equal wages for equal work, among other things. Everyone benefits by addressing these things--and they should be addressed--but to continue to parade them under the "feminist" banner is to shoot human rights in the foot. Feminism has spent the last few decades alienating people with its dogmatism and its historic inability to reconcile itself with a multicultural world. These issues need to be addressed as social problems, under a new banner, so that everyone can feel welcome to the discussion.

4. IN CONCLUSION (until someone kicks my teeth in, anyway...)

I don't support the defunct and potentially destructive feminist label out of self-respect. Feminism doesn't appear to be meaningful on its own terms, and those who get attached to the label are vulnerable to dogmatism. I'd rather try to think independently, and fuck up the world on my own responsibility. Luckily, individual women have had self-respect and the ability to fuck up the world since long before feminism came along, and they'll still have it once it's finished killing itself off. I bet you can think of the reason why, too...


(hint: the answer's on a t-shirt.)