In my happiness and beyond. -

Five statements through 24 hours:

1) His face next to mine as sleep
pulled its fingers off my eyes and
he said, "Do you want me to go?"
and I said (I think), "No, no...
you're fine, it's fine." And here
is the really remarkable thing I've
just learned from this relationship,
and only this one, in all my life:
arguments in new relationships are
99% less world-ending if you haven't
yet had sex.

2) Argument or no, the day before,
piled back on the round earth with
noses to sunshine and white oak and
drifting cloud, a bit of breeze
twisting around bare ankles, and
mouth stuffed with red gummi bears,
plus the kind of serious friendly
discussion that sincere young people
have, I felt pretty fucking good.



3)

Irving Penn, the draughtsman of
the Medici Court, the manuscripts
of Joyce, Kerouac, and Auden, plus
the original score of Copland's
Fanfare for the Common Man.
And a spectacular sequined dress, the
color and texture of polished hematite.

4) He asked me, "Did he do... terrible
things to you?" And I grinned, tears
already pushing out of my eyes, "Only
terrible things I wanted him to do to
me."

5) There are four things I have come
to understand that I learned from my
former job:
--how to touch, and be touching some-
one.
--how to listen, and hear what people
are trying to say.
--how to recognize quickly what any
individual basically wants.
--that I fundamentally relate to people
through my sexuality, which is why.
I had. to stop.